i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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