i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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