i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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