fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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