margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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