ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
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how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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