dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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