I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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