Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
