If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
