I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
