My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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