I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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