But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm at about main and main street
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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