to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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