he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
