My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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