Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize