Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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