I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
