In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Houston, we have a squirter
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize