And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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