I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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