i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize