Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
