so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize