I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
