threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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