u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
