isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
