I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.