no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
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He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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