I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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