I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
