I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.