Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
