I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
