I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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