And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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