I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize