You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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