My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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