If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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