my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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