hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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