So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
