He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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