You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
