Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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