I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
